The Painful Truth About GenX (with Heiðrún) [video]
Red Pilled Too Late*
*Note: Most of this post was written by Heiðrún with input from other Gen Xers. I have added in my comments and suggestions. I will add more if any Gen Xers want to make more questions.
The red pill movement has awakened many to a knowledge of evolutionary psychology and, in specific, r/K selection theory and its implications for Western Civilization. This has served as an intervention for those who have developed maladaptive traits as a consequence of low investment (Boomer) parenting. But what practical benefit has the intervention had for this population?
Red pill intervention encourages development of K traits, with high risk Millennials (ages 19 to 38) often the target of marketers and messages. Millennials, however, are not the population at the greatest risk of being lost; Generation X (ages 39 to 54) is.
Who is Gen X?
This information will be especially relevant to Gen Xers with the following traits:
Ages 39 to 54 (Gen X)
High I.Q. (subjects reporting 130 to 168)
Have been injured and harmed by parents and educators:
Disabled by parental neglect and abuse
Uninvested in by parental abandonment
Poisoned by educators with maladaptive programming
Defrauded by parents and educators to believe that high intellect alone = exceptional fitness and that academic performance alone = success in life (failure as adults would later inform that these claims were lies)
Aware of their vulnerability (this led to seeking knowledge)
Motivated to acquire useful knowledge (this led to awareness of the red pill)
Courage to ingest the red pill and thereby acquire useful knowledge (this led to awareness of their unfitness, causes and consequences); consequences include:
Destroyed fertility (resulting in need for elder care and legacy)
Unmarriageable (Damaged Sexual Market Value) (resulting in need for companionship and partnership)
In some cases, unemployable or underemployable (Damaged Job Market Value) (resulting in need for converting potential value bestowed by high general intelligence, academic achievement, and cultivated hard skills into desired value bestowed by coupled high emotional intelligence, social achievement, and cultivated soft skills)
Impoverished (resulting in need for resources by which to acquire care and rehabilitation)
Motivated to acquire agency and remedy for the injury and harm imposed upon them by parents and educators
Woke At Midlife
Because of the only recent availability of r/K information, many Xers who redpilled did so in mid-life. This means that opportunities for this group to benefit from adapting K strategies are limited, particularly when it comes to forming families and creating legacies. This is particularly so for Xer women.
Many Xers face gene death as a consequence of having never produced viable offspring. Their circumstances typically fall into one of three categories:
A. They never reproduced;
B. They married and reproduced, but divorced, producing children who are unlikely to reproduce;
C. They conspired with a co-dependent and reproduced, producing children who are unlikely to reproduce
With the average age of a woke Xer being 47, the incentives for adapting a K strategy aren’t great. In many cases these Xers suffered the stunting effects of low investment and even abusive parenting, coupled with a culture that inflicted upon them toxic levels of leftist programming, for decades without intervention. This has left many of them entering the second half of their lives socially and economically impoverished, powerless, and, until recently, ignorant of a cause for their failure to thrive.
A Disenfranchised Generation
Where Millennials have been dubbed “snowflakes” and been fussed over like the helpless infants many of them present to be, Xers are the bastard children nobody seemed to want and that society communicates through its frequent oversight of them don’t care about. Xers are often left out by marketers and advertisers. Some call them a “lost generation”, but “under served” is more apt. Many feel “discarded”.
Ask an Xer who grew up in a broken home with an absent father and narcissistic mother and was mandated to perform and achieve with insufficient investment, only to find himself plunged into an adulthood where marriage and family were unattainable, economic hardship unavoidable, and the need to adapt to a job market that afforded no stability constant, and you will hear the voice of someone who is frustrated, confused, angry, and pessimistic, but most of all, exhausted and unmotivated.
Red pilled Xers are disadvantaged, and they know it. They desperately want something to be optimistic about. More than this, they want a stake in the game and the means and opportunities to create for themselves lives worth living and remembering, knowing that for many of them that will mean doing so without the possibility of children.
Questions Posed by Adult Children of Boomers
Heiðrún invited some adult children of Boomers to present questions they would like to see addressed in this discussion. Here’s what they came up with:
Q: What is the utility of “sexual market value” for somebody who, for whatever reason, is not going to reproduce. What is the value of someone who is not going to have kids?
A: The sexual marketplace is primarily about reproduction however SMV is also a measure of social, physical, mental, emotional and economic fitness. Your life will ALWAYS be better if you are more fit. The work to raise your SMV brings life long benefits outside of reproduction.
Q: What are the incentives for someone who is not going to reproduce to adapt a K strategy?
A: A K strategy is a long term strategy. It requires thinking about your future. Gen Xers without children need to think about their future even more than those who reproduced. One day we will all be old.
Without deeply cultivated connections to a healthy, honorable, K-selected younger population we will find ourselves dieing slowly in an old age home surrounded by people who don’t speak our language and hate us. It’s a terrible fate.
If we don’t have children to be connected to then we need to look to disconnected youth. Create families of choice.
What about creating communities?
Additionally, I add the following questions on behalf of those who would like to form families and build legacies, but, for whatever reason, a conventional family and genetic legacy are not options:
Q: In your view, how can those who are not going to reproduce acquire the same benefits afforded by a traditional, genetically related family?
What strategies can you offer for forming a family that consists of members who, though not necessarily bonded by blood, would be bonded by similar genetics, values, and goals? Essentially, a family in which the members lawfully adopt one another? (This is something many express an interest in wanting for themselves and believe might be a practical goal for them to aim for.)
How do those who want to form such families find and attract high value partners?
A: You will never get the same benefits. Substitutes are always second best by nature however they can still be satisfying and bring you comfort and joy in your old age.
What you are describing is a family of choice. The key to making such a project successful is to:
Offer value to potential members. Greater value will attract higher quality people. The value can be personal, social, monetary, mentorship etc. (Note how this links to SMV traits.) Think of the manorial system as an ideal of value. What would a modern manor look like? If you can’t be the lord, how could you convince someone to hold that role in the community?
Create boundaries and clear goals. People today crave strict boundaries and hierarchies. Loose organizations cant survive. Intolerant organizations with clear missions and goals grow and thrive.
Demand reciprocity early. Avoid giving of yourself to people who are unlikely to reciprocate. Make people invest into your community upfront.
If you are based on the US, creating your community as a 501(c)(3) religious charity gives you tremendous protections against every form of persecution from those who do not want to see us exclude incompatible members. Additionally you will have tax benefits and a legal entity to hold property and gather donations.
Q: Finally, as a life coach for red pilled people, what is the best advice you can give to red pilled Xers who find themselves stuck in life and behind the proverbial eight ball?
Gen Xers were bred and raised to be slaves for their selfish and incompetent and parasitic Boomer parents. This left them pathologically seeking out people to help. To succeed in life they need to stop doing that. Stop helping selfish, non-reciprocal people. Start setting healthy boundaries with yourself and others. Become intolerant of parasitism. Figure out what you want and go get it.
Many Gen Xers are self sabotaging. It’s a bunch of really smart people doing the same stupid things over and over again, hurting themselves because they are still operating largely under the programing that they were given by Boomer parents and hostile external influencers. The red pill must be accompanied by a purging of blue pill programing.
No one is going to save you. There is not heros. No matter how tired you are it’s up to you and you alone to save yourself. Your path out can only be charted when you have sufficient Agency to reprogram yourself. Contact me, I can help you to build the best life now.
Q: In your view, what is the value of somebody who is disabled as a consequence of parental neglect, abuse, and/or maladaptive programming, but who could be healthy and productive if he received adequate care and rehabilitation?
A: Values are set by the market and unrealized potential is severely discounted. We are all judged based on what we have to offer. You may feel lost, but there is still much life left in you. Live what is left to the fullest. I’ve seen many people shead apathy, anxiety and hopelessness when they start getting coached. You can have a wonderful life no matter your past.
Q: Both self styled "coaches" and conventional therapists provide rehabilitation services to those who are able to do therapy, but to what resource does one turn if he needs care to address the condition itself (e.g., starvation, injury, infection)? This would be the equivalent of somebody who knows he's got a broken leg and that he will benefit from therapy down the road, but first he needs to get the injury addressed. To where does somebody go to get care for that?
A: For most of us the pain is caused by a mix of unhealed injuries and ongoing reopening of the wounds through self sabotage. A skilled therapist or coach will first perform triage, stop the bleeding and set the bone. Sometimes it’s a painful process for both the helper and the one getting help. If you stick with it you will find long term relief.
Most Gen Xers are buried under a bunch of accumulated bad time and energy management habits. Cut out everything from your life that you possibly can. Then fill the void with things that bring you closer to your goal. You don’t have as much time as the millennials, so stop wasting it.
The first half of your life was not what you have wanted, but that doesn’t mean the next half cant be great. Us Gen Xers still have a few good decades left, let’s make the best of it!