Traditional women need romantic commitment and how they can negotiate it. [Video]
Traditional women need romantic commitment. Their peak SMV window, the time that they are capable of attracting the best quality mate is very small. The fear of wasting that time is very real.
In this video I speak with Rachel who is dating a man she likes very much. She feels conflicted about meeting new men while she is developing the first stages of a potentially permanent relationship.
The internal conflict exists because her favorite sutor has not yet proposed an explicit commitment of exclusive dating. This interview includes great tips for men to help them get the highest SMV women they can attain.
0:27 Rachel poses her questions.
2:11 If you have to tell him to commit, then the relationship is doomed.
2:44 Men have not been taught by their fathers how to make proper commitments.
3:00 For this conversation, dating = spending time with each other (no sex).
4:30 We have lost the traditional community model of sexual market, to the detriment of women.
7:40 Women are not psychologically built to take the lead in relationships.
9:49 Leila talks about advice on how women can lean back and stimulate their man to take leadership, from the book The Surrendered Single.
14:00 How men respond to experiencing competition for a woman.
15:16 Humans are naturally “lazy” and we will often attempt to get relationship benefits before the work of commitment.
20:25 Tell your man how you feel about important issues rather than telling him what to do.
20:55 Never criticise your man, do this instead.
21:55 How to talk to him about your feelings.
22:16 We need to listen to our own feelings before we communicate them to others.
24:10 Avoid saying no in close relationships.
25:50 Men need their own male only spaces so we can speak and hear hard truths and criticism.
27:51 How to get the reactions you want from your man.
29:58 We need to put more thought into how we “do” relationships and pass on that knowledge to the next generation.
31:05 Men feel more satisfied in relationships that they have earned.
32:20 Everyone loses when we settle.
33:15 Men NEED to feel some competition pressure and potential for loss to motivate them to make commitment.
35:00 Young men can find great purpose in leading a romantic relationship. Men NEED to be needed.
39:48 Just do something. Even if its not right, do something.
40:40 This is not about you and him, it's about your potential children.
42:10 If we give away love without commitment we are debasing the value of our love.
44:18 Men, if you know what you want, what are you waiting for? Lock her down with a commitment or lose her.
45:20 Have kids early.
46:05 There is nothing more attractive to a good man than a fertile woman who wants to have children.
49:25 You need a support network when dating. We need community.
51:30 Rachel says "He wants to meet my family and go to my church. I want my father and brothers to interview him."
53:20 How to reject on offer in a feminine way.
55:55 He needs to have a talk with your father before you invite him to church.
1:00:20 The father is the gatekeeper to the family.
1:02:45 Fathers should not allow too easy access to their family and children.
1:03:38 Its not that he gets what he wants based on the passing of time, but rather with the giving of commitment. Time is not a woman's friend.
1:04:30 Women are bad negotiators when negotiating for themselves however they are much better when advocating for someone else. Require earned commitment from him for his sake and for your future children.
1:06:12 Men ask for clear signals. This is how you communicate clearly in a feminine way. Be his cheerleader.
1:07:28 Ask him questions. Get him to clarify details about his commitments. What exactly does he mean? What are the parameters of the commitment?
1:08:55 Contract marriage. Make your commitments explicit and clear.
1:10:30 Commitment has a time frame. Don’t waste each other's time.
1:11:08 An example of how a man should ask a woman to be exclusive.
1:12:11 Commitment reduces female anxiety. An anxious woman is a different person than a secure woman.
1:13:43 After about 6 dates you should know if you want to be exclusive or not.
1:15:20 It's dangerous to date without some sort of timeframe to make decisions about marriage. It's too easy for years to slip away.
1:16:05 We all know women who have had men waste an entire decade of their lives without any real commitment.
1:19:20 You need a man to commit to making a decision, whatever that is (to give a firm yes or no).
1:20:57 Wasting a woman fertile years is like killing her potential children. It's serious business and a really bad mark on a man's reputation.
1:24:50 The advantage of the no sex before marriage strategy: If a man is interested in me he is forced to decide if he wants to commit to me or not.
1:26:20 Being married gives a feeling of completeness and purposefulness.