How to become a more assertive man [video]
We all know that nice guys finish last. On the other hand the assertive man gets the life he wants.
If you ever wished that you were more assertive or that you could channel your disagreeableness into a more productive direction than this message is for you.
A special note to women. This message is primarily directed at improving the behaviour of men however if you want to find and marry an assertive man you will need to know how to identify and attract one. This message can help you to do just that.
Hello. My name is Noah Revoy, this is SMV4K.com and we have the best advice to help red-pilled, K-selected people get the life they want.
We all know that nice guys finish last. On the other hand the assertive man gets the life he wants.
If you ever wished that you were more assertive or that you could channel your disagreeableness into a more productive direction than this message is for you
Before we continue, a special note to women. This message is primarily directed at improving the behaviour of men however if you want to find and marry an assertive man you will need to know how to identify and attract one. This message can help you to do just that.
Benefits of being assertive
Reduce stress. Deal with challenges head on. Conflicts will get resolved and outstanding “issues” are going to be addressed rather than fester. That kind of stress and frustration lowers our Testerone just as badly as being a SoyBoy. Its distinctive to us as men.
Gain self-confidence and self-esteem. Every time you stand up for yourself. Every time you are assertive you will feel your power over your life increase.
Understand and use your feelings appropriately. For many men it's difficult to reconcile our desire to be a cold, logical, and Randian vision of the masculine man with our need to experience emotions. Being assertive will help us to understand what we are really feeling and express our emotions appropriately.
Earn respect from others. Nobody respects a Mr Nice Guy. Men don't want a weak, passive man in their hunting party, sports team or work crew. Women don't want to rely on such a man to look after them. It's even worse than that. Other men might look at a weak man with pity, women despise passive men.
Improve communication with others. The assertive man is a clear communicator. He says what he means and he means what he says. No passive agressive bull shit comes out of his mouth.
Create mutually beneficial situations. Passive people can not confidently express themselves. This causes them to miss out on lots of opportunities. They don't act decisively to ask out that pretty girl or speak up in a negotiation. They end up in situations when they are unhappy and unproductive. In short, where no one is winning.
Improve your decision-making skills. Assertive people have a program that runs in their brain and efficiently gets them what they want while avoiding unnecessary suffering.
Create better relationships. By standing up for ourselves and winning the respect of the people we spend time with we are going to drive out of our space negative, toxic people and attract high quality, wonderful friends. If we are single we will attract and keep a higher quality women. The woman in our life is going to start treating us better.
Gain more job satisfaction. The assertive man is decisive not just in words but in actions. He's a dynamic man of action. He gets things done. Negotiate better. Get paid more. Get the projects you want. Sell more. Win-win situations. Better workplace communicator. Conflicts will be more quickly and positively resolved.
Further, if you are interested in a free society you should be deeply interested in promoting assertiveness. To be free we must be assertive. We must be able to advocate for our personal interests and avoid delegating excessive power to others.
What does it actually mean to be assertive?
Everyone has preferences, needs, wants, desires and goals. The assertive man speaks and acts in such a way that he creates the life that he chooses. This is in contrast to the passive man who is pushed about by the preferences, needs, wants, desires and goals of others.
Everyone chooses the life they get. Either we can be the captain of our ship or a passenger. Either way it's a choice.
When our interests do not align with those of another person we have what's called a conflict. Conflicts are an inescapable part of life. Assertive people use them to their advantage. Those who are best at negotiating mutually beneficial outcomes from conflict will quickly climb their dominance hierarchies. Everyone will want to “do business with them”.
To be assertive you can not on one extreme be a Mr Nice Guy, Soyboy, pushover. You also don't need to be a tyrannical, psychopath jerk or an asshole. Both are extremes of disfunction. Being somewhere in the middle is no better. Being assertive means getting off the dysfunctional spectrum of behaviour.
Here its important to mention disagreeableness. Psychologists have identified 5 main personality traits with agreeableness being one of them. This means its actually possible to measure how agreable a person is.
People who are generally agreeable are more likely to give in, bend and accept the preferences of others rather than assert their own needs or advocate for their own interests. It's very difficult to be an assertive person if you are very high in agreeableness. Since personality is almost totally genetic we are not going to massively change our level of disagreeableness.
This does not mean that a disagreeable person is automatically assertive. The disagreeable person might just be a jerk or a senseless brute who reacts to everything he doesn't like by attacking it. Assertiveness is more than just disagreeableness.
Here is the gold: Assertiveness is the ability to harness whatever disagreeableness we may have and direct it into productive actions that help us to create the life that we want.
That ability can be learned through exercises and practice.
Reasoning skills. We have to think clearly about what we want. To have self-knowledge. If we don't know what we want how can we advocate for ourselves?
We need to have a very well developed idea about the kind of life that we are creating and what its going to take to get us there. We need to be able to answer some important questions when faced with decisions and opportunities:
How is X helping me to reach my goals?
What are the long term implications of a decision?
Is this something I need to spend my resources fighting about?
Is there a better way to get what I want?
Rather than going with the flow and bowing to external pressures we need to develop decisiveness, starting in our own mind and flowing out from there. We must create assertive patterns of thinking. Start small, work your way up to bigger things.
Communication skills. To be assertive you will need the communication skills necessary to tell others what we want and negotiate mutually beneficial outcomes. To sell people on our ideas and plans. Advocate for our interests And convince others that our way is best.
But what if you are a very agreeable person?
Of course it will be more of a challenge to be assertive if you are very agreeable. Imagine that you have a special type of emotional energy that is expended when you face conflicts. It slowly recharges, however you do have to face the fact that you simply have a limited ability to face disagreements and conflicts.
Very introverted people may also find that conflict and negotiation is exhausting. Both groups need to practice their assertive skills so as to minimize the energy they need to expend on conflicts. Fight only the fights that need to be fought, do it quickly and get it over with. Seek out people who are generally well aligned with you so as to prevent unnecessary conflicts from forming.
What does a very disagreeable person need to consider?
Your natural instinct is going to be to fight about everything. You are a human bulldog. To right all the wrongs. To lash out at anyone who threatens you. To overwhelm those you have conflicts with using the power of your personality. You feel the urge to correct everyone who posts something stupid on the internet. However if you do that you will waste precious time. It's going to get in the way of you being productive and achieving your goals.
You are capable of great things, if you can focus your disagreeableness in the right direction and at the right people. Find a path in life that that rewards you for being a hard case.
Also, don't be disagreeable with everyone all the time or for no reason. That just makes you unlikable. Be really clear in your mind when and where you should be tough and where you need to be tender.
How to become more assertive
It's the responsibility of fathers to teach their sons assertiveness. Unfortunately, that's often not what happens. Passive or abusive fathers are incapable of teaching assertiveness. As an adult it's not up to you to reprogram your own brain.
Assertive people are a danger to corrupt people. Pliable, agreable children are easy to manipulate and control. Tyrannical parents, dictatorial school systems, corrupt religions and government sponsored propaganda seek to break young boys of any assertiveness at an early age. Past trauma may be inhibiting your natural abilities to be assertive. You will need to reprogram yourself to think more assertively.
First, get rid of anything that's making you weak. Stop with the degeneracy. Stop drinking, drugs, random sex, video games, TV watching, (((propaganda))) and ditch your Walter Mitty fantasies.
End any non-reciprocal relationships in your life. Clean yourself of all social parasites. Distance yourself from people or organizations that take more than they give.
You will need energy to be assertive. Mental and physical energy. Start eating and sleeping optimally. Exercise intensely, preferably with heavy weights. Getting physically stronger produces mental and hormonal changes that will improve your ability and urge to defend your interests.
Get your hormones tested, especially Testosterone and Thyroid. Take supplements if needed.
If you experience physical fear when confronting other people you will need to face that by engaging in mock combat. Go somewhere you can get hit in the face and learn not to fear it.
Kill the little voices in your head that are tearing you down and telling you that your needs are unimportant. Literally, choke the life out of them. These voices might be eccos of past authority figures or something from our deep subconscious but they have no home in the mind of the assertive man.
Manage your feelings, use them to motivate you to stand up for yourself and chase your ideal life. Get angry when it's appropriate. Recognize when you are frustrated, scared, uncomfortable, disappointed, etc.
Read “Getting To Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury. The communication and negotiation techniques in that book are exactly what you need to negotiate mutually beneficial outcomes in your life.
Start small, work your way up. It's just common sense. Start with little things like creating a sleep schedule and cleaning your room or eating one healthy meal a day. We have to lift light weights before we can lift heavy ones. Walk before we can run. What's important is to start taking action immediately.
Practice negotiating on yourself. Start standing up to your negative inner thoughts. Each battle you win will make you stronger. Once your own house is in order, look for opportunities to assert your interests in your life. Advocate for career advancement and promotions. Practice assertively making a courtship proposal to a women you like.
Assertive actions will make you more assertive. It's a virtuous cycle.
I am going to warn you about something. Not everyone will like the new, assertive you. As I previously mentioned assertive men present a real, physical danger to tyrants and social parasites. You can't rule men who have not been first broken to the whip. You can't rule men who advocate for their own interests and the interests of their group. This is why so much of today's societal structure is saturated with anti-male, anti-masculine, anti-white propaganda.
You are going to piss off some people and it might seem easier to just fade back into passivity rather than face their anger and bluster. But don't do it. Once you have gained your assertiveness, never give it up. Hold on to it and make it grow. Keep fighting and join up with other assertive men.
You too need to have a certain assertiveness. You need to know the kind of man you want and be willing to reject those that don't fit your ideals. Passive women get sucked into negative peer pressure that leads to feminism, THOTish behavior and anti-male bias.
Conversely you need to become comfortable around highly assertive men and learn how to attract and keep them. That's a topic for another time.
You will never feel like a real man unless you can be assertive.
We are surrounded with pressures designed to break us and take from us our power.
You can resist these pressures and come out of it stronger by following the advice in this message. Listen to it a few times. Let the information sink in. Let it mold your mind. Then start acting.
When it comes down to it. The assertive man is the man of action!
carpe diem brothers!