Why I was wrong about self control
Self control (or self discipline) is powerful. With enough of it we can accomplish almost anything. For most of my life I have believed that any one of us could have everything we ever wanted, if only we were to develop more self control and better habits. Individual power, liberty, freedom and happiness await the one who can master his impulses and motivate himself.
Be the master of yourself and become the master of your world.
Often, I counsel my clients to develop strong intrinsic motivations. They are encouraged to achieve their goals by first visualizing their ideal life and then acting on the desire to see their visions made real. I propose self discipline building activities. I suggest self help books that teach strategies to take control of your life. I help people to build Spouse Personas and develop the courage to assertively chase what they want with the determination to not give up.
Intrinsic motivations come from within the person.
No matter how much self control and motivation we have our actions must always be bounded by principles and rules. Usually we have a mix of self imposed and external (extrinsic) structures that are designed to limit our choices to only the most positive ones.
Extrinsic motivations are imposed by outside forces.
Without a social “operating system” of any kind we are presented with an overwhelming array of choices. This puts us in an environment with an excess of chaos, full of distrust and danger of betrayal. Communication, cooperation and long term planning are impossible.
Within a system of rules and values we have a certain level of freedom to “play the game” with others. We have a shared structure to build upon and innovate off of. We develop interpersonal and societal trust and benefit from shared expectations and understandings.
Here's the problem, we currently live in a society that is a corrupted, sick and infested shell of its former self. The current operating system is broken and destructive. Perverse social pressures promoted by a cabal of globalists and rootless opportunists are pushing our people towards cultural, genetic and even physical suicide. The default structure imposed upon us has become evil.
In such a dangerous setting rejecting the system and benefiting from a higher degree of personal freedom and individual liberty is only possible for individuals with extraordinary levels of self control, and that's a really big problem.
Unfortunately, I've come to the conclusion that most people simply will never develop and maintain enough self-discipline to rely primarily on it to keep their lives on track. They desperately NEED positive social reinforcement from community and loved ones. They need the ever present threat of disaster if they stray from the right path and they need a lot of outside, imposed structure.
Perhaps I was over estimating the role that self control should play in society due to the fact that I have always had a tendency to be highly motivated and self disciplined. Having been raised to value leadership, duty, discipline and resistance to outside corrupting forces I was projecting my own self onto other people, which is a serious mistake.
Within white, western culture we have an extraordinary variation of personality types. Even highly intelligent people with strong values can have low personality trait conscientious. This makes it very challenging for them to maintain self control over time.
Others, with higher levels of consciousness may be more inclined towards conformism. Being a K-selected conformist immersed in an r-selected, degenerate world is both confusing and dangerous.
To be frank, the constant exercise of self discipline and resistance to corruption can be tiring. We all have a limited amount of mental energy with which to make decisions. Few people seek to be real leaders because always being on high alert is exhausting. We need to have more than just our willpower to keep us on the straight and narrow. We need structure, both self created and imposed by a group we voluntarily participate in. How can we get what we need to supplement our very fallible self control?
Be part of a group that imposes structure and obligations upon us
Note: Before we can surround ourselves with good people we must purge our lives of toxic relationships. Good people are not going to enter our lives if we have bad people still in it. Pull the weeds in your own garden. Cull your own herd.
Here is a thought that will prick some of my anarchist friends. Most, if not all humans require a strong, local and relatively benevolent hierarchy. Most people want to be followers and participants in something greater than themselves. They seek to rally around an honorable leader and the concepts that he embodies. Strict individualism has very limited appeal.
Most people want to be told what to do and what to expect in routine matters, habits and social customs. In the absence of a strong, ethical system that off loads most minor decisions and gives them a ready made philosophy they will flounder, fail to thrive, fail to marry or have children. Our current reality is proof of this.
Note: I think that women in particular seek to be submissive followers. Given good leadership this can be a blessing. They are left to focus on what they love, husband, home and babies. Give them bad leadership and we see the pussy hat wearing harpies that occasionally clog the streets to protest against the very men who make their lives possible.
Humans are very much social animals. We need positive peer pressure. We need people around us that we care about and that we are deeply bonded with. We need a homogeneous tribe with patriarchs and elders that we can trust to set boundaries and pass on traditions that make our lives better.
If we are blessed enough to be a part of a strong, well adjusted, patriarchal family that can give us the direction that we need. Even starting our own families and having a commitment to maintaining them will change us dramatically for the better.
People who have happily married parents are far less likely to get divorced. Being surrounded with good examples and a family that emphasized marital loyalty will greatly reduce your risk of divorce.
Never take family for granted. Seek to build a better and bigger family for future generations.
But what if we don't have a healthy family of origin? What if we have no natural blood brothers?
How can those with no reliable blood relatives form a tribe, a greater family? Let us look to our history and traditions for a possible answer. An ancient and respectable european tradition is the taking of blood oaths of loyalty and the formation of blood brothers. This is not to be taken lightly. A blood oath lasts until death. Think long and hard before you make any oath.
An oath is a promise. A bond. A contract that requires specific actions. It should obligate you to a specific course while also protecting and motivating you. All commitments must be clearly bounded and limited, just as they are in a marriage. Any who fail to hold fast to the oath must be shamed and dishonoured.
A blood oath is usually performed in a ceremony, much like a wedding. It's a deep and somber event meant to convey the importance and durability of the bond thus formed. Like a wedding it should be a bond not just to each other but to the values, principles and ethics that bind and govern the relationship.
Example blood oaths
The Hungarian Blood Oath in the 9th century was an agreement of the leaders of the 7 principal tribes of Hungary. This formed the birth of that nation and created a sort of constitution.
"Then they said to Chieftain Álmos together: »We have chosen you, from this day onward, to be our leader and commander, and wherever your destiny takes you, we are bound to follow.« Then each of the aforementioned men let, in accord with Pagan custom, his blood into a vessel, and sanctioned his oath therewith. And although they were Pagans, still they kept this oath they made together until this death.
And thus was the first part of the oath: That as long as they live and their descendants live, their leader will always be from Álmos's lineage. And thus was the second part of the oath: That all wealth acquired by them will be divided between them. And thus was the third part of the oath: That the nobles who have chosen Álmos as their leader by their own will, and their descendants, will always be included in the leader's council and will bear the country's offices. And thus was the fourth part of the oath: If someone of their descendants would ever be disloyal to the leader or would incite disagreement between the leader and his kin, then he should have his blood spilt, just as the leaders' blood was let from their body when they swore their oath to Chieftain Álmos. And thus was the fifth part of the oath: If a descendant of Álmos or the other leaders would violate the terms of this agreement, he should be forever cursed. The names of these seven men were: Álmos, father of Árpád; Előd, father of Szabolcs, a forefather of the Csák clan; Kend, father of Korcán, Ond, father of Ete, a forefather of the Kalán and Kölcse clans; Tas, father of Lél, Huba, forefather of the Szemere clan; the seventh was Tétény, father of Horka, whose sons were Gyula and Zombor, forefathers of the Maglód clan, which will be written about later. But enough of this, let's follow the course of history.” – Anonymus: Gesta Hungarorum, 9th century
The American Declaration of Independence was a blood oath of rebellion signed by fifty-six men that lead to the formation of the United States.
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor. - The Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776
Beliefs matter, community matters
For some, the bond and community they seek will be found in their church. But beware, not all churches are of equal value. If you join a church that weakens you, lies to you, beats you down or feeds into your vanity you will be far worse off than you were before. If your church is degenerate they will not help you to develop good habits or have success in life. If your church is not manifestly patriarchal it is corrupt.
If you are an atheist, what will you use to replace the church in your life? Philosophy may be your replacement for belief, but how to do replace the community bonding traditions, structure and hierarchy? You will need to give serious consideration to this area.
In the past I've proposed the creation of Western Traditionalism clubs to promote strong western values and create dynamic communities. Perhaps this is an option for those who miss the community of the church.
Reject anything that weakens us
No matter how much self control you have, in the absence of some sort of community structure that I have described above each one of us will be very susceptible to outside manipulation by malevolent cultural shysters.
Stop reading, watching and playing with methods of r-selected entertainment that weaken our resolve to make our life the way we want it to be. Propaganda is powerful and effective. Even the strongest of us will succumb to it given enough time and exposure. You are better to replace it with something else, preferably something promoting western traditional values.
Stop isolating yourselves. Stop saying things to yourself that weaken you. Stop breaking your own balls over minor issues. Ditch any vices that weaken you and your resolve.
Dont give up, conserve your energy
Dont give up exercising your self control. You may inherently be a person with low conciencionious however ANY self discipline that you can muster will make your life better, even if it's not always reliable.
Keep working at it, but don't expect any miracles. Be realistic. Don't overtax yourself by creating excessive pressures on your system of self control. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, don't buy junk food. Don't have it in the house so you are not tempted to eat it. Go shopping on a full belly so you don't get as tempted to buy junk. When you eat, do so with people who will pressure you to eat healthily. It's a pattern.
I was wrong about self discipline. While I still believe its a powerful tool to improve your life, I now realize that its utility is limited by personality and societal factors. We all need solid, benevolent social structures to keep us on a healthy path in life. Unfortunately the last three generations have been busy destroying our supports. We need to put an end to it. We need to rebuild, to join, to bond, to take oaths of unity. We to secure a future for ourselves and our children.