Be a Hero, Raise Your SMV: Act 1 [Hero's Journey]
Last week we discussed how dating that leads to marriage can be likened to a Hero's Journey. This post will continue that theme by discussing how to start your journey towards romantic fulfillment by taking on the Relationship Quest.
The stories that we tell ourselves and others are powerful. They change our thought patterns, our behaviour and the outcome of our life. When we think of our lives as a grand epic, a story of heroism and the triumph of virtue over evil we will then conform to that expectation.
As more and more people buy into stories that elevate virtue and romantic heroism our culture will change for the better. We will once again value the pursuit of familial happiness. We will have more and happier marriages. This in turn will lead to a baby boom of happy, peacefully raised children to carry on our culture.
The hero's journey is never easy. To overcome the challenges of life we must motivate each other with a noble purpose and a shared quest. We must seek to uplift courtship back to a place of honour, esteem and high value.
At a more personal level, by viewing dating, courtship, marriage and the raising of children as noble quests we give value to the efforts necessary to have success in these areas.
Lets see what we can learn from the Hero’s Journey to help us in raising our Sexual Market Value and having dating success. Grab a pen and paper or open your favorite text processor, the next part includes an opportunity to make notes as part of a set of easy exercises.
Presenting Your Hero's Journey: Act 1
The Ordinary World
The hero, uneasy, uncomfortable or unaware, is introduced sympathetically so the audience can identify with the situation or dilemma. The hero is shown against a background of environment, heredity, and personal history. Some kind of polarity in the hero’s life is pulling in different directions and causing stress.
We all start here. Ordinary life. This of course differs from person to person. Your ordinary world might be very different from mine. Still, this is our beginning. Understanding our beginning and knowing where we are right now is vital to deciding how to proceed.
Exercise: Write down a simple description of your life now. What is your background? Why do you want to get married? What forces (both internal and external) are pulling at you?
The Call to Adventure
Something shakes up the situation, either from external pressures or from something rising up from deep within, so the hero must face the beginnings of change.
Sometimes we choose change, while other times it's thrust upon us. Sometimes change is positive and other times it's not. Sometimes it comes from within, other times it’s external.
Great and wonderful things can come from change, yet most people instinctively fear or avoid it. Successful people use change as a catalyst to growth, leading to their benefit. This requires that we take ownership of ourselves and practice self-determination.
Exercise: Write down a list of changes in your life during the last 2 years, both internal and external. How have they affected you? How have they changed you as a person? If you take up the quest and get married, how will your life have improved?
Refusal of the Call
The hero feels the fear of the unknown and tries to turn away from the adventure, however briefly. Alternately, another character may express the uncertainty and danger ahead.
Fear, anxiety and excitement about embarking on a major quest is normal and healthy. Interesting, it's not just a fear of failure, but also a fear of success.
Exercise: Write down two lists.
- What is the worst that could happen if you embark on this quest?
- What is the worst that could happen if you don't embark on this quest?
- How likely are these negative (or frighteningly positive) outcomes?
- What are the possible rewards of taking on the quest?
Meeting with the Mentor
The hero comes across a seasoned traveler of the worlds who gives him or her training, equipment, or advice that will help on the journey. Or the hero reaches within to a source of courage and wisdom.
During human history billions of people have successfully negotiated the romantic relationship quest. Some of these people even understand why their relationships were successful, happy and satisfying. A generally older, married mentor can coach us and support our quest. Such a friend can offer valuable advice as we tackle new challenges, hold us accountable, encourage us and give us clear feedback on our actions.
Another source of support could be a professional relationship coach. You should also join a group like www.SMV4K.com to find information and help as you start your journey.
Exercise: Do you have one or more potential mentors? Talk with your mentors and ask them to help you on your quest. Show them this post if that helps to explain what you need from them.
Crossing the Threshold
At the end of Act One, the hero commits to leaving the Ordinary World and entering a new region or condition with unfamiliar rules and values.
Now is the time for action. You face two paths. Two options. Act now or turn back. Procrastination, even for an hour, can easily derail your quest. Right now you need to take at least one positive step in the right direction; towards your goal. Action and forward momentum are more important than knowing the whole road.
Exercise: Write down some definitive actions that you can take to launch yourself on the Relationship Quest. Pick one easy item and DO IT RIGHT NOW. Pick another and do it this week. Keep progressing. Congratulations, now you have officially started your quest.
Some actions that you can take right now include:
- Join us in the SMV4K.com Facebook group. Make an introductory post and tell us a little about you.
- Signup for the SMV4K.com Newsletter.
- Read about how to start your dating pipeline and start filling out your Spouse Persona.
- Do the exercises in this post.
- Check your social media presence to make sure it's sending a positive message about you.
A life without meaning is sad, unfulfilling and boring. Dating, marriage and children can give you more satisfaction and contentment that you can presently imagine. Don't delay, start your Relationship Quest today!
Next week: Your Hero's Journey: Act 2 (Tests, Allies, Enemies, Approach, Ordeal, Death and Rebirth.)